Weekend Returns: Kings proving they are more man than Muppet

The Muppets

Weekend returnsTwilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1 was able to draw more brain-dead zombies, er, Hot Topic vampires to the movie theaters over the Thanksgiving holiday. But I’m not wasting any more time with sparkling blood-suckers. This week, it’s all about The Muppets.

That’s right, I went to go see The Muppets. With my kids. On Thanksgiving. What else was I going to do? This is the definition of family film, and there was no way I was going to miss this opportunity to see this flick with my family.

Waldorf and Stadler
I have to say, I haven’t read any bad reviews about this flick, because you’s going to talk crap about The Muppets?!? You’d have to be a heartless troll with no joy in your heart to take pot shots at a fun movie about getting the old band back together.

That said, I have some issues. First: (Spoilers alert!) No Big Bird. In the first Muppet Movie, it was kind of cool to see a cameo from Sesame Street. But it seems since he left New York City, Kermit has completely forgotten where he came from. Way to keep it real, frog. At least he didn’t drive a Fiat through Brooklyn like J-Lo did.

Second: Jack Black. I’m over him. Seeing him as the “very special guest star” was kind of reaching. After all, look at the list of “very special guest stars” from the original show: Bob Hope, Elton John, Carol Burnett, Johnny Cash, Sylvester Stallone, heck even several cast members from Star Wars made an appearance. Hey look, kids! It’s the voice of Kung-Fu Panda. Seriously, Black is the Shields and Yarnell of The Muppets cameos. (Well, maybe not those two, maybe Don Knotts.)

It was cool to see Alan Arkin make an appearance, as the tour guide through Muppet Studios. Arkin was also in the original Muppet Show, back in 1980 AND was featured on Sesame Street back in 1971. THAT’S keeping it real, kids.

Lastly: there’s… nothing. Seriously. It’s a Muppet movie. If you are looking for an original plot or tremendous acting, then you are too serious to appreciate this movie. hats off to Jason Segal, whose love of the characters and the canon of all things Muppets is apparent and really made this movie feel like a love letter to the franchise.

You know what isn’t feeling very lovely right now? Yup, the Kings. See where they rank in this week’s Power Rankings:

• The Hockey News’ Adam Proteau’s Week 8 rating: 9. Last week: 9.


Drew Doughty pointless in past seven games.

• Hockey Night in Canada’s Nabil Karim’s Week 8 rating: 15. Last week: 17.


Jonathan Quick continues to give the Kings the luxury of solid
goaltending, picking up his league leading fourth shutout of the season
and number 18 of his career. His play has been a pleasant surprise.
What’s been shocking is the Kings’ lack of scoring. The team is 26th in
league scoring, averaging a paltry 2.33 goals per game. After goals from
Anze Kopitar (10), Mike Richards (11) and Simone Gagne (7), no one on
the Kings has more than four goals. Justin Williams, Dustin Brown and
Jarret Stoll have combined for just nine goals.

• Sports Illustrated’s Adrian Dater’s Week 16 rating: 15. Last week: 16.


They have yet to play their best hockey, so their record is a testament
to how much talent is here. If coach Terry Murray can just find a way to
get his two top lines going on a more consistent level, things should
be real good for the second half. Then again, too many more little
slip-ups and just making the playoffs could be a worry. Yes, the
playoffs are still WAY too far off to start talking about the Western
horse race, but you really can’t afford a four- or five-game losing
streak in that conference. You go from “in” to “out” of the postseason
picture in a hurry.

• TSN’s Scott Cullen’s Week 8 rating: 17. Last week: 16.


RW Justin Williams stayed (relatively) healthy last year for the first time since 2006-2007 and landed a nice contract extension in the offseason. He’s healthy this year, but also mired in a 14-game goal drought and has been demoted to the third line.

• ESPN.com’s Scott Burnside’s Week 8 rating: 18. Last week: 17.


Another of those little stutter-step sequences for the Kings, who have
one win in their past four and are scratching for goals. As of Monday,
the Kings reside outside the playoff bubble.

• Fox Sports’ Jim Rosen’s Week 8 rating: 18. Last week: 16.


The Kings are having major issues burying the puck and are 0-4 against traditional Western powers San Jose, Chicago, Detroit and Vancouver.

• CBSSportsline’s Adam Gretz’s Week 8 rating: 21. Last week: 20.


Somebody still needs to help Anze Kopitar and Mike Richards, when it comes to generating offense.

Take the average and you get the Kings’ Hockeywood Power Ranking of:

14.0.

A hockey movie is around the corner, and it looks AWESOME! It’s called Goon and it stars Seann William Scott. Be aware, the language is NSFW.

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