Weekend Returns: Kings proving they are less than Immortal

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Power RankingsThis weekend the top movie at the box office was Immortals, a flick that combines several Greek myths. Basically, the movie is sort of a prequel to the Clash of the Titans. It revolves around the story of Theseus, and how he helped start the war between the Gods and the Titans.

The movie is filled with the same type of visual action that the 2006 movie 300 had: lots of digital manipulation, slow motion effects and violent action.

The main antagonist is played by Mickey Rourke, who can now add Titan King Hyperion to his growing list of recent movie roles (which have  included his Academy Award-nominated turn as Randy "The Ram" Robinson from The Wrestler, Whiplash from Iron Man 2 and Tool in The Expendables.)

I'm continually amazed how many roles Rourke has been able to get recently. After all, his career was put on hold when he melted down and burned a bunch of bridges. That's when he decided to become a boxer in 1991. He actually amassed a 6-0-2 record with two knockouts. Thanks to the beating he took in the ring, Rourke had some jacked-up surgery on his face, causing him to lose his famous good looks. Now he looks like a real former wrestler, with his busted nose and swollen face.

A movie about Greek mythology wouldn't be the same without some stunning actresses, and Immortals has two of them: Australian actress Isabel Lucas and the stunning Academy Award-winning Indian actress Freida Pinto. Mmmmm, Freida.

Immortals will not repeat as box office champion next week, thanks to that ridiculous vampire soap opera where a werewolf falls in love with a baby. (Hmmmmm, can I get Chris Hanson on Line Two?) But you will be doing the right thing if you head to your local multiplex after the game Saturday to go check out this amazing flick.

Speaking of the Kings, they actually did well last week (going 2-1), but the media has no idea where to put them. Check out the wide range of rankings the team got this week from the experts:

• The Hockey News' Adam Proteau's Week 6 rating: 9. Last week: 7.
Kings haven't won two in a row since Oct. 20/22
• TSN's Scott Cullen's Week 6 rating: 16. Last week: 16.
Addition by subtraction? The injury to LW Dustin Penner, who is still looking for his first goal, will give Andrei Loktionov a chance to play in a top-six role with the Kings.
• Fox Sports' Jim Rosen's Week 6 rating: 17. Last week: 14.
Saturday’s 5-2 win over Minnesota marked just the fourth time this season Los Angeles has scored more than two goals in regulation. With two goals last week, Drew Doughty has started to get going.
• Sports Illustrated's Adrian Dater's Week 6 rating: 19. Last week: 15.
We can officially call them our most disappointing team so far. However, they did spank the Wild pretty good over the weekend, which saved us from labeling them "biggest bust so far." Third-line center Jarret Stoll has one, count 'em, one goal through his first 17 games after scoring 20 last season. And let's not even go there with Dustin Penner, who remained scoreless after his first 14 contests. Brad Richardson, with one point in 16 games, can't brag, either.
• CBSSportsline's Adam Gretz's Week 6 rating: 20. Last week: 18.
Well, Anze Kopitar is having a great season, but the rest of the Kings offense continues to slump and it has resulted in losses in seven of their past 10 games following a 5-1-1 start.
• ESPN.com's Scott Burnside's Week 6 rating: 22. Last week: 18.
A big win over Minnesota on Saturday, but the still-slumbering Kings have just two wins in their past eight outings.
• Hockey Night in Canada's Nabil Karim's Week 6 rating: 23. Last week: 10.
Five losses in a row. So who's to blame? It's not Jonathan Quick (1.87 GAA, .936 save percentage). And it's not the Kings' penalty kill, which has been stingy killing 34 of their last 38 penalties. Point your finger at the offence. Just eight goals in five losses and averaging 2.14 goals per game. Dustin Penner (one assist in 12 games) is taking plenty of heat and rightly so.
Take the average, and you get the Kings' official Hockeywood Power Ranking number of:

18.0.

Speaking of Twilight: Bite Harder, the fetching Kristen Stewart will star in an unusual remake next summer that has some of the elements of Immortals. The slow motion, the digital animation, the over-the-top violence. She's starring opposite Charlize Theron (Mmmmmmm, Charlize) in Snow White and the Huntsman.




But wait! The director of Immortals has his own Snow White movie coming out. However, this one is decidedly lighter in tone and stars Julia Roberts as the Queen. The name? Mirror, Mirror.

 

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